Bears, Bowling Balls, and a Caribou Band

Alaska is full of bears. Brown bears, black bears, white bears.

While moose will actually come right up to the front porch and are seen fairly often in town, we don’t see the bears that much. Moose have figured it out. Stay in town and you won’t get shot. We have ‘open carry’ but ’no hunting’ in town. Of course, unlike bears, moose won’t usually charge at you and carry you away in their vice-grip jaws. We watched a black bear once ‘grazing’ on plants and berries. He was across a pond and railroad tracks, so he was safe. My brother lives on the “Hillside” of Anchorage and was jogging one day with his dog. However, a black bear decided either the dog or my brother looked delicious and gave chase. My brother is still here to tell the tale. Black bears can be just as dangerous as brown bears. Most bears just keep to themselves, unless they are in a bowling league. In Alaska we have the Polar Bowlers. While some would think they prefer to knock down ‘pin’guins, there are no tuxedo-wearing water fowl here, so these brawny bruins play ten-pins with puffins. Look it up. You’ll see I do not exaggerate. Of course, the only place you can witness the fun and games is at Old MacKinley’s Funny Farm. There used to be a mountain with a similar name (McKinley, actually), and Farmer MacKinley is glad he gets to keep his.

Then there are the bush pilot bears. “Bush” is the fancy name for wilderness. In Alaska everyone has an airplane. It is the only way to escape when we are snowed in for 9 months of the year. No kidding. Snow up to the rafters! So, you got your bowling bears. Fun loving and tell great stories. Then you got your serious bush pilot bears who fly around for no apparent reason. Of course, they are only to be seen at Old MacKinley’s Funny Farm.

Then there's the caribou band. Caribou are reindeer that haven't been domesticated.

That's a fancy word for 'stuck at home.' In snow! Anyway, Old MacKinley also has an ATV-riding moose (no thumbs, but can HE drive!) and a musk-ox muffin maker.

And, it's all true! On Old MacKinley's Funny Farm.